Datee Katee on the 'ins' and 'outs' of dating

Datee Katee

Datee Katee is about dating 


1. To Register Or Not to Register?

2. Superficial

3. Getting Started

4. First Dates

5. Catfishing Part 1

6. Catfishing Part 2

7. Rejection Part 1 

8. Rejection Part 2

9. Scammers

10. Safety Part 1

11. Safety Part 2

1. To Register Or Not To Register?


To register or not to register that is the question. If you’d just like to 'See Who’s Here' you can, by entering some of your details and what you’re looking for right on the Homepage. When you hit Search some of the singles from your area will appear on the Homepage. You can then decide whether you're ready to give 5050dating a go.

5050 has now updated the word register to read 'Join' on the Homepage and you can now 'See Who's Here' in five different countries. You can also send an invite to anyone who has joined 5050dating for 5050 Coffee to any cafes in any of those five countries. 

2.  Superficial


There are many social cues that we take into account when deciding whether we like someone or not. Things like voice, body language or even the way someone carries themselves can indicate 'yes' or 'no'. That's  why judging someone just on their profile photo can be pretty superficial. You really should invite them for 5050 Coffee to meet them.

We acknowledge that some people are just downright gorgeous, but many people are not. Most people would agree that you very seldom end up with the person that you judged on their looks alone. So why do that? However we also acknowledge that a photo and vlog are your first port of call (and you have to go on something) when you're starting to get to know someone. Bear in mind: Many people regardless of their looks put their best foot forward (so to speak) and come across as attractive by displaying a positive attitude.

3. Getting Started


So you’ve registered successfully, uploaded a profile photo and or a vlog or both and now you're ready to start dating. So send a smile, introduce yourself, start chatting then send an invite for 5050 Coffee.

Online dating can be quite overwhelming at first, so once you've successfully registered (joined) and completed a profile, take baby steps by simply sending a smile (make sure you've read their profile first), then introduce yourself, then maybe you can start chatting, and then take the plunge by sending an invite for 5050 Coffee to meet up at your local cafe.

4.  First Dates


Wouldn’t it be great to actually look forward to going on a first date? We say: Meet for 5050 Coffee first. Then once you've done the hard part you'll be ready for your first date.

We're an 'online' dating site where you can connect with someone online and then meet up with them in the 'real' world for 5050 Coffee. But after that, your actual 'first date' is arranged by you and we don't really play a part in that. However it's a good idea to arrange that first date via our website (for safety reasons). 

5.  Catfishing Part 1


There is always the possiblility that whomever you're in communications with may not be the person they claim to be. That's why a vlog is so important. If you're in some doubt that someone is not who they claim to be, request that they upload a vlog and be 5050 Verified You can then compare their vlog with their profile photo.

Catfishing has (unfortunately) become an unwanted byproduct of online dating. At 5050 we've taken extra precautions by encouraging people to upload a vlog to become 5050 verified to try and reduce catfishing. But please be aware, that we offer no guarantee that people are who they claim to be.  

6. Catfishing Part 2


If someone keeps putting off meeting you, be cautious. They may not be who they claim to be. Learn about catfishing.

We know people get lonely. It's human. If you think you're lonely or even if you're just flattered by someone's attention. (Quite often a catfisher can be very attractive and young) then please, please insist on meeting them. It's the only way you'll know if someone's genuine. 

7.  Rejection Part 1


Rejection is probably one of the most difficult feelings we have to deal with when we're dating. But it's happened to us all. Don't despair - tell yourself that these feelings will pass - because they will. You will get over it. Here are some tips to help you 'move on.'

How To Handle Rejection

1.  Give yourself some time to process the rejection. It's normal to be upset initially.

2.  Do not take it personally. The reason for the rejection may not even have anything to do with you.

3.  See rejection in a positive light as a way of adjusting your strategy moving forward.

4.  And remember - it's all a numbers game. Not every one will say: 'Yes' but not every one will say: 'No' either.

5. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and send out some coffee invites!

Rejection can be hard to take no matter who you are, how attractive you are or how clever you are. There isn't a lot of information out there about it and we're not taught about how to deal with it. It's just taken for granted that you should be able to 'handle' it in an appropriate way. It can be a harsh penalty for liking someone and it's probably not that well understood. We're trying to understand it better ourselves, so pour yourself a cuppa and take a speculative look at: 

How To 'Just Get Over It' - Dealing With Rejection

By Datee Katee

‘Build a bridge and get over it,’ they say. Easier said, than done.

One of the first things you’re going to have to accept if you’re dating is that sometimes you will be rejected. It’s just part of it. And how you deal with it is important. So perhaps a practical way of dealing with it could be to acknowledge the hurt and grade it? wrote an article about it and offered up 5 Ways Mentally Strong People Deal With Rejection hmm, but in all reality, you probably won't be feeling that mentally strong at the time, will you? The word ‘rejection’ seems to be used as a blanket term to cover many different situations and usually different people. Yes, we’ve heard it said: ‘Rejection is hard to take.’ It sure is. It doesn’t feel good to have someone whom you’ve been deeply fond of for many years, suddenly reject you. But, for someone to get through life without feeling the sting of rejection at some stage, even by a family member or even your pet just seems unrealistic. But when dating, how do you deal with rejection of the romantic kind? It’s a good question. Probably putting the rejection into perspective by grading it might be one way. Accepting rejection as part of dating is part way to understanding that it’s really not that personal, so don’t take it personally. And there will be someone ‘out there’ who ‘accepts’ not ‘rejects’ you. You just got to find that someone and connect with them. So if you’d like to process your rejection less emotionally by grading it on a scale of 1 to 10 read on:

Grade 1 Rejection. A Grade 1 is usually from someone you only just met or hardly know or even someone you met online. This is the easiest type of rejection to get over and is almost enjoyable, because you’re doing a lot of this sort of rejecting yourself and you accept that others may do the same. Bear in mind, that there are always going to be Grade 1 rejections that can really upset some people though. That’s why reading this can be useful. A Grade 1 rejection is meh.

Grade 2 Rejection. A Grade 2 is going to just tingle a little and may leave you a little bewildered. This usually happens about the 2nd or 3rd date or just as you were getting to know someone and leaves you wondering what went wrong but still glad you went on the date otherwise you wouldn’t have known what this person was ‘really like.’ Grade 2’s are not that hard to get over because you know there are always more ‘fish in the ocean’ that’s why they called the free dating site: Plenty of Fish but forgot to add, ‘and a few sharks.’ Free Dating Sites Versus Paid.

Grade 3 Rejection. A Grade 3 is going to start to sting. Why? Because you’ve invested a tiny bit of money into this and a tiny bit of time hoping that it may lead to something more. And you think you have pretty good instincts, but as it works out, you were a bit wrong and that’s come as a shock. And now you’re going to have to wake up and face reality.  A Grade 3 is something you’ll take maybe up to a week to get over and at the longest a month. If it takes longer then it’s not a Grade 3. Get Over It Quick

Grade 4 Rejection. A Grade 4 may come with a little social pressure. Maybe a friend or a relative introduced you to this person and you thought it was going to work and you were hopeful. Your friends and relatives were all hopeful too, but they keep asking you about the other person and you’re starting to find it a little embarrassing to have to face a Grade 4 publicly. Or maybe you thought so highly of this person that you introduced them to your friends and maybe even your mother and now you’re going to have to backtrack. But you do face this public humiliation and you move on. Introducing Your Lover to Your Mother

Grade 5 Rejection. A Grade 5? Ok, you’ve invested money in cafes, clothes, make-up or even a date at a nice restaurant - you actually wanted to impress this person. Only to find your date high-tailed it out of the situation and left you to foot the bill. You were ok with this, but you would have liked to have known that the other party may have fonder feelings for you. And now you'll never see them again. Ok, this is starting to hurt. Now you’re having trust issues as well. Dating is starting to make you paranoid. But, you dust yourself and put it down to just a ‘bad experience.’ 10 Signs You're A Bad Date

Grade 6 Rejection. A Grade 6 is about listening, because you don’t want to repeat the experience of a Grade 5 because you realise that this is starting to cost. So you look and listen and take special note of the way someone is. You’re very alert. You’re way beyond your 3rd date now and you’ve been counting and you’ve actually decided that you like this person. That’s why this rejection hurts.  You were attracted to this person and felt at times vulnerable and you’re trying not to get upset or take offence or break down or something when they friend zoned you. You feel deeply humiliated that with all the time and effort you put into this, this person couldn’t see ‘the real you’ and so you again, move on. Active Listening

Grade 7 Rejection. A Grade 7 is getting up there. You’ve invested time, money and think you’ve done a lot to help this person. It’s 6 months into it and then whammo! Like a slap in the face, it’s suddenly over. It’s come as a shock and you’re definitely upset and bewildered and left thinking ‘what the hell happened? How will I face this?' You’re seriously considering giving up dating all together and keep going over and over the same mantra in your head: ‘There’s someone for everyone, there’s someone for everyone.’ And you’re noticing married people and people in partnerships are taking pity on you and giving you unwanted advice and they’re all saying the same thing: ‘You’ll meet someone when you’re not looking for it and right when you least expect it.’ Yeah right. Is There Someone For Everyone?

Grade 8 Rejection. A Grade 8 is bad. What you thought was your forever relationship has ended. And it’s bad because children are involved. So you’re having to deal with their emotions as well. Not only is it bad, but it also makes you sad. You wonder why or how things went so wrong. And things are made worse because you’re having to talk to your ex still and be reasonable for your children’s sake. You can’t really date or meet anyone else either because there’s the question of timing and whether your children are ready for a new person in their lives. You have to be very, very responsible and it can be a lonely time. Breaking Up When You Have Kids

Grade 9 Rejection. Only a Grade 10 can be worse than a Grade 9. You’re discovering behaviours and lies that have made you question your own judgement and you’re angry. It still feels raw after 3 months and you wonder if the emotional wound will ever heal. All those years you spent with the person in question…What did it mean? You’re asking yourself and wondering…whether they cared at all? What could be worse? You feel the length in every day and just hope eventually you’ll piece your life back together.  You’re seriously considering re-educating yourself or leaving town. A revenge body maybe? The dating scene has changed and so have you. Younger people are finding you ‘old.’ You’re asking yourself: ‘How am I supposed to meet someone and where do I meet them?’ You heard someone say once: ‘Two years. It takes two years.’ And you think: ‘Thaaat. Long?’ How To Deal With Anger After A Break-Up

Grade 10 Rejection. A Grade 10 is about as bad as it gets. Possibly there is only one thing worse and that’s being rejected at birth. You’re devastated. You feel as if you’re in a constant state of grief but no-one died. You’re having to re-establish yourself entirely, re-calibrate emotionally and worst of all re-finance and it’s all going to take a lot of time. But then you are not dead and you achieve all of the above. You watch with interest the increasing number of people who say they are ‘content with being single’ and wonder if that’s the way you will end up or how did it come to be that way when you’re forced into an existence that you never wanted in the first place. You wonder if dating is just purely hormonally driven and what happened to ‘growing old together?’ That’s all you ever wanted was just someone to grow old with. But you realise that now you are exposed again, there are such types and things out there as narcissists, sociopaths, Low Total T and the un-empathetic when all you wanted was someone who could just simply ‘share.’ But, you begin to recognise that there are things to look forward to, like developing your interests further and travel. Stuff you never thought you’d ever do. You begin ticking off the things on your bucket list and when you do these 'things' you start to meet similarly minded people. You question what is happiness and love really. And you’re confused because in spite of being older, you feel young. ‘So go on,’ you tell yourself. Seek. Enjoy life. Have some fun. You take the dog for a walk. Narcissist or Sociopath?

As you can see, there may well be different grades of rejection, but with online dating you’ll only ever in all possibility reach a Grade 2 (hopefully). And even if you don’t find someone, it’s ok - you’re not alone, because there are all those people online and they’re all interesting and doing different things and some of them may hit Pause occasionally but it’s ok. You can deal with it. Because there’s always hope. And good things take time. There is no dignity in haste. And if you ever reach a Grade 10, again, well, you don’t intend to but wasn’t that the goal anyway? 

8.  Rejection Part 2


Finding it hard to disappoint someone whom you've communicated with or met up with and are just not interested in? Then let 5050 handle the situation for you. All you have to do is hit the Pause icon which is located on every profile photo. Learn about when to use Pause.

9.  Scammers


Scammers are people who are pretty much after only one thing - your money! Even if you're absolutely sure that the person you're communicating with online is the person they claim to be, never release any of your personal details or send money - ever. No matter how much you love them.

10.  Safety Part 1


Unsure whether to give out any personal information after meeting someone for the first time? Then don't. Message each other on 5050 to arrange a first date. That way, you'll have a better idea (after a first date) of how you feel about someone before giving out any personal info.

11.  Safety Part 2


Long drawn out liaisons can be frustrating. Ask yourself: What is the point in communicating with someone if you know you'll never travel to their country to meet them? Don't make promises that you cannot keep. Contact people with the intention of meeting them.